bereavement photos
T wants to know: Is it ok to take photograph's at a memorial? There is family that will not be able to make it and I think ti would be nice to share photo's of the day with them, also I want it for myself. If it is ok to do so what kind of shots do you or don't you reccomend? Also can you offer any tips for taking photo's during a scattering of the ashes on water?
For what it's worth, people feeling weird or icky about photos taken at memorials or funerals is a North American thing. I know my German relations all make a big deal out of taking pictures of everything from the dead body in the casket to family photos to the party after, then package them up in cards and mail them to all the relatives who were unable to be present.
This is my personal take on it. I took a tonne of pictures when my Daddy died. I took pictures of us planning, hanging out, crying, laughing, driving, playing, sighing, sleeping - you name it. For me it was a coping mechanism - a way to remain productive and focussed - and one which now brings me great peace as I am able to walk through my father's death at a pace I can comfortably deal with. I smile, laugh, and cry when I look back through them, and wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China.
It's different for everyone, though. If YOU want to take pictures, take photos of things you want to remember. The casket, the flowers, any mementos that may be present; family and friends; the location of the ceremony and what the weather was like. I don't take photos during the memorial service itself unless asked, but you may want to, depending on who is speaking. If it was a distant relative's funeral, I would want to take into consideration the feelings of other people there, but since this is your parent, I don't think you should have to ask or care what anyone else thinks.
As far as pictures of the ashes being scattered (which I must point out is actually illegal in some places and I do not advocate this practice without the proper authorities being contacted for local laws) what I would suggest is deciding who is doing the scattering and who is doing the picture taking ahead of time, as you probably won't be able to do both. You will likely want a picture taken from the water beside the dock or boat, as well as one from further away, which might require other people being asked to take pictures, too. Take into consideration things like wind which might need to be factored in - 'scattering' may need to be more of a gentle dunking or people could end up with facefuls of ash. If you can't actually get pictures of the ashes scattering or being dispursed, pictures of the location, the day of travel, local scenery, etc. can be just as important, as they not only illustrate the surroundings of your loved one's final resting place, but also document the events leading up to and following, which can often be an adventure all by themselves. When we buried my Daddy's ashes, we went for lunch at the local greasy spoon before, and out smashing bottles afterwards, and it was a perfect day for us. Since you're making quite a trip, I imagine you could take a whole lot of interesting pictures before and after.
And, just as a side note, if you are taking your camera out on watercraft, you should consider bringing along something watertight or water-resistant and buoyant (a 4L ice cream pail would do in a pinch) to transport your camera.
For what it's worth, people feeling weird or icky about photos taken at memorials or funerals is a North American thing. I know my German relations all make a big deal out of taking pictures of everything from the dead body in the casket to family photos to the party after, then package them up in cards and mail them to all the relatives who were unable to be present.
This is my personal take on it. I took a tonne of pictures when my Daddy died. I took pictures of us planning, hanging out, crying, laughing, driving, playing, sighing, sleeping - you name it. For me it was a coping mechanism - a way to remain productive and focussed - and one which now brings me great peace as I am able to walk through my father's death at a pace I can comfortably deal with. I smile, laugh, and cry when I look back through them, and wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China.
It's different for everyone, though. If YOU want to take pictures, take photos of things you want to remember. The casket, the flowers, any mementos that may be present; family and friends; the location of the ceremony and what the weather was like. I don't take photos during the memorial service itself unless asked, but you may want to, depending on who is speaking. If it was a distant relative's funeral, I would want to take into consideration the feelings of other people there, but since this is your parent, I don't think you should have to ask or care what anyone else thinks.
As far as pictures of the ashes being scattered (which I must point out is actually illegal in some places and I do not advocate this practice without the proper authorities being contacted for local laws) what I would suggest is deciding who is doing the scattering and who is doing the picture taking ahead of time, as you probably won't be able to do both. You will likely want a picture taken from the water beside the dock or boat, as well as one from further away, which might require other people being asked to take pictures, too. Take into consideration things like wind which might need to be factored in - 'scattering' may need to be more of a gentle dunking or people could end up with facefuls of ash. If you can't actually get pictures of the ashes scattering or being dispursed, pictures of the location, the day of travel, local scenery, etc. can be just as important, as they not only illustrate the surroundings of your loved one's final resting place, but also document the events leading up to and following, which can often be an adventure all by themselves. When we buried my Daddy's ashes, we went for lunch at the local greasy spoon before, and out smashing bottles afterwards, and it was a perfect day for us. Since you're making quite a trip, I imagine you could take a whole lot of interesting pictures before and after.
And, just as a side note, if you are taking your camera out on watercraft, you should consider bringing along something watertight or water-resistant and buoyant (a 4L ice cream pail would do in a pinch) to transport your camera.
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