choose transparency
I saw that message on a billboard outside one of the churches I passed on the way to a client's place on Saturday morning. Confused the bejeebers out of me. "Choose Transparency." Interesting. Very very interesting. Isn't that what I just did?
Anyhoo - an update. I went to my Dr. this morning. She gave me crap (I knew she would) and sent me off to the lab with a requisition for pee and blood samples. One thing at a time, it's coming together. I'm still waiting to get the call back from the ED headshrinker I was referred to.
I wish I felt transparent right now. Mostly I just feel like I am in a godlfish bowl surrouneded by kindergarteners or maybe standing in an auditorium in my undies, with everyone gawking at me to see what I'll do next. The pariah treatment has begun already. It's as bad as when my Daddy died and everyone would get *that* look on their face (come on, we all know what it looks like - head tilted slighlty, eyebrows pinched up questioningly, puppy dog eyes, soft downward curve to the mouth...) and crane their neck towards me to ask me, "Are you OK?" Well, ah - no, not really, but I will be in spite of not because of you, and I'm going to poke you in the eyes a la 3 Stooges if you don't get your hand up fast enough WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA lol
I have to give kudos where they are deserved - my husband took the news very well: he laughed at me for being a dumbass and not saying something sooner. No special treatment there, hey?
Thanks, Bill. I love you, baby.
Anyhoo - an update. I went to my Dr. this morning. She gave me crap (I knew she would) and sent me off to the lab with a requisition for pee and blood samples. One thing at a time, it's coming together. I'm still waiting to get the call back from the ED headshrinker I was referred to.
I wish I felt transparent right now. Mostly I just feel like I am in a godlfish bowl surrouneded by kindergarteners or maybe standing in an auditorium in my undies, with everyone gawking at me to see what I'll do next. The pariah treatment has begun already. It's as bad as when my Daddy died and everyone would get *that* look on their face (come on, we all know what it looks like - head tilted slighlty, eyebrows pinched up questioningly, puppy dog eyes, soft downward curve to the mouth...) and crane their neck towards me to ask me, "Are you OK?" Well, ah - no, not really, but I will be in spite of not because of you, and I'm going to poke you in the eyes a la 3 Stooges if you don't get your hand up fast enough WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA lol
I have to give kudos where they are deserved - my husband took the news very well: he laughed at me for being a dumbass and not saying something sooner. No special treatment there, hey?
Thanks, Bill. I love you, baby.
Comments
Good luck with the headshrinker. Oh dear I need help I know what your actually referring to but here I am envisioning your head all wrinkled and shriveled up *giggle*. Never a dull moment in Tanya's head...
I've said it before, you are my hero. You say what you mean and sometimes that gets messy.
My first desire of course would be to play the nurturer, and try to protect you from the evils that are assaulting you but you have Bill to do that. You don't need our sympathy, you need our support. Take what you will, we'll collect later.
Actually I was hoping for an unatractive man, it was easier to tell my secrets to someone I wasn't attracted to.... lol
reminds me of Sesame Street lol!
Take care!
Cathy